a fairly accurate portrayal of my eating habits...

2 c. Rice Krispies with 1 c. skim
1 Splenda packet
1 piece of white toast
1/2 slice fried bologna
4 large marshmallows
Diet Pepsi

Diet Pepsi
Baby Ruth bar

Gatorade G2

~3 platefuls of spagetti with meat sauce
2 or 3 brown and serve rolls
Diet Pepsi

1 Fruit Roll-Up (may have eaten 1 earlier too, can't remember)

This is why I suck. I am addicted to food. I don't know what to do. I want to lose weight, I want to be healthy, but I just am not able to step away and say no.

I walked 1.24 miles on the treadmill today, 30 minutes. I tried to do the first Couch to 5k workout, but I don't think it's intended for those 300+ pounds. That'll have to wait. Still, I can't find too much happiness in that accomplishment when I'm eating like the hog that I am.

obviously, not enough

...because I haven't exercised since January 4th and I weighed 311 pounds this morning. I didn't get that kick of new year fever, apparently. I'm just so burnt out on trying and trying and failing. I feel like, even though it's painfully obvious at over 300 pounds, I'm just realizing how addicted I am to food.

I'm going to try to update here more. And make some changes. Again. I just feel like I'm jumping on the same old ride, waiting to get thrown off again, but I don't know what else to do.

what I've been up to...

10/13/08: 308
10/14/08: 30min/1mi
10/15/08: 30min/1mi
10/16/08: 30min/1mi
10/17/08: 30min/1mi
10/18/08: 30min/1mi
10/20/08: 310
10/20/08: 30min/1mi
10/22/08: 30min/1mi
10/23/08: 30min/1mi
10/24/08: 30min/1mi
10/25/08: 30min/1mi
10/26/08: 30min/1mi
10/27/08: 308
10/28/08: 30min/1mi
10/29/08: 30min/1.02mi
10/30/08: Mall walk
11/02/08: 30min/1mi
11/03/08: 308.2
11/05/08: 307.2
11/05/08: 30min/1.05mi
11/10/08: 307.6
11/10/08: 30min/1mi
11/12/08: 30min/1mi
11/17/08: 305.6
11/17/08: 30min/1.02mi
11/18/08; 30min/1mi
11/19/08: 30min/1.08mi
11/20/08: 30min/1.12mi
11/24/08: 308.8
11/25/08: 30min/1.15mi
11/30/08: 30min/1.08mi
12/01/08: 308.8
12/04/08: 30min/1.07mi
12/08/08: 306.6
12/09/08: 30min/1.10mi
12/11/08: 30min/1.10mi
12/14/08: 30min/1.09mi
12/15/08: 307.6
12/28/08: 309.2
12/30/08: 30min/1.05mi
01/01/08: 309
01/01/08: 30min/1.07mi
01/02/08: 30min/1.13mi
01/04/08: 30min/1.12mi